This is my healing second birth story after a traumatic first birth.

traumatic first birth

It was a beautiful Friday we had our maternity photo shoot on the beach with our family of three, little did we all know what that we would be a family of 4 in a matter of hours. Straight after this we went home my husband and I packed our daughters bag. She was off for a sleepover at Grandma and Pops house as we were heading to our good friend’s wedding. I could feel things going on so I packed a hospital bag for myself too just in case we had to take off and have a baby. I had a gut feeling it was labour but it was hard to tell I had been having pre-labour/irritable uterus for 10 weeks so it could have been that.

traumatic first birth

Waiting for the bride to arrive were catching up with friends standing in the beautiful gardens. As the ceremony began I was shown to my reserved chair right behind the groom’s parents. Royalty treatment for the heavily pregnant woman lol. My contractions were not regular but they were not going anywhere, I knew I was in labour. During the signing of the register the mother of the groom turned around and asked how everything was going. I said everything was great but if we disappear during the wedding we have gone to have a baby I’m in labour. “F*#K off no you’re not” she said!!!! When she realised that I was serious she said “Just stay there are two nurses here so you will be fine just stay and give birth here”.

We continued to socialise during the interim drinks. All the time I was messaging our doula and timing my very irregular contractions. A short time later, I decided that we wouldn’t make it through the reception, so it would be best to go home now.

traumatic first birth

I believed I really was in labour and needed to go home and get comfortable (little did I know that feeling was transition). I stood up to go and my waters exploded and flooded the floor around me. I quickly sat down laughing, this made it worse with every laugh more flooded trough my chair onto the floor.
Now I had to try and discreetly leave the wedding, without making a fuss. This was kind of hard with waters flowing like a river. Luckily my friend had her newborn with her and she handed me a nappy. I pop it up my dress and sneak away from all the guests. We went to find the bride and groom in the vineyard to say goodbye and to apologise for leaving their wedding.

On the drive home, the contractions were getting more intense. I thought yep labour had started and asked our Doula to meet us at our home. When we got home I had a shower, I started to feel the involuntary pushing sensation I was in denial and ignored it. I got dressed and got rocking on my fit ball, waters still pouring out everywhere. The sensation to push got stronger I realised that I couldn’t ignore it anymore.

I got my hubby to call our Doula as she hadn’t arrived yet. Minutes later she arrived. A soon as she saw me she said time to go to hospital and we were trying to work out how to get me laying in the car. I took 4 steps out the house and she said this baby is coming now get back into the house. Up until this point I was completely calm and comfortable.

Reality hit me I was on all fours on the living room floor.. the flooding feelings came over me. I had no way to hospital if something went wrong, I couldn’t do it I couldn’t let go. I remember whispering to my doula, I can’t do this call an ambulance please. Even though, I knew that nothing was wrong, I was completely capable of birthing my baby, I couldn’t let go. I changed positions and held my baby in until the ambulance arrived. My hubby whispered they have arrived and I let go. The paramedics came in to our home in a chaotic frenzy. I could feel the tension and fear in the room from the paramedics. The stretcher didn’t fit in house so somehow, I walked with assistance to the stretcher out the front door.

On the way, down to the car the paramedics were yelling at my husband saying next time you are going to have a baby at home don’t park in the way. The paramedics were determined to get me to hospital. Our Doula knew better her and my hubby jumped in the ambulance (that was at the bottom of our driveway). I can still hear the panic in the paramedics voices we will got to hospital and pull over to deliver your baby if we have too. They were trying to get our Doula out of the ambulance, she said this baby is coming NOW!!! They were trying to give me a cannula (I hate them!!!) I told them to *F*#K off* and kept ripping the tourniquet off and throwing it and told them that “I am trying to birth my baby and can’t deal with a cannula right now”.

I also said “you better get down the other end and catch my baby” (so he doesn’t fall out the back of the ambulance as the doors were all wide open)!!

traumatic first birth

The feelings were amazing once I let go, the foetal ejection reflex was so intense I didn’t push at all my body was doing everything. All I did was hold my body up off the stretcher, so I could move my pelvis around. I had to pant to slow things down, as it was that strong. It felt like he was flying out. In no time my baby boy was on my chest. The feelings that took over my body were amazing the joy was unmeasurable. We packed up the ambulance and went off to the hospital. We pulled over on the side of the freeway to cut the cord a short time later.

I was having a party in my head!!!! I truly loved every minute of labour and birth. There are not enough words to truly express how I felt during this  birth. I birthed my baby, I did it.

Even though this may seem like a crazy traumatising experience, it was perfect for me in every way in that moment.
P.s. Next time I will just go for a planned home birth with a private midwife. I have had more than enough drama for one life time. I have no regrets as my experience was perfect for me in that moment.

Big Smiles

Jocelyn Jane xx

traumatic first birth